On Tuesday, it was the first time Poppy cried about Gabriel. I am not entirely sure what prompted her to start talking about him; we had just got into the car after doing some shopping and out of, what seemed to be nowhere, she said, ‘I miss Gabriel Mummy, is he coming home soon?’

It wasn’t the first time she had asked when Gabriel would be coming home, we have had that conversation several times. It’s a conversation I dread having with her as I have to tell her he won’t be coming home.

One of my first thoughts when Gabriel died was how I was going to tell Poppy and Jordan. Both of them had anticipated his arrival and were excited in different ways; Poppy was going to change his nappies and give him his bottles, whilst Jordan definitely wasn’t keen on doing the dirty work but looked forward to finally not being outnumbered and having a little brother to share ‘boy things’ with.

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